Hello, it's Chloe here. Have you a moment to spare?
I really could do with a sympathetic ear to share some serious difficulties.
My Mum isn't around at the moment, so let me very quickly explain what I mean . . . I don't want to hurt her feelings.
My problem? It's the very serious subject of food.
You know how important meals are to a highly energetic and discriminating Bengal Cat. Not something to be considered lightly . . . most definitely not.
But my Mum just doesn't seem to understand, although I try very hard to explain.
First of all, let's take the turkey she likes to cook for me.
A slice of fresh turkey can be tasty, very tasty . . . I wouldn't argue with that. And it's definitely an improvement on rather flavourless chicken.
But once you've had turkey for more than one or two days . . . well, who'd want to even sniff it again for at least two weeks?
Cats' stomachs are delicate, they need change . . . constant change.
Then there's the vexed question of fish.
I like coley. Coley is delicious. But what does my Mum do?
She tells me that there's no coley in the shops and offers me plaice instead!
Have you ever tried plaice? It's not in the least like coley.
Siamese cats might like it, Burmese cats might like it, but, believe you me, Bengals don't!
And, if my Mum can't find any coley, well . . . what about a slice or two of fresh duck?
As you can see, I know just where to go to find a duck!
Now, I agree that, very occasionally, I like to sample a mouthful of the cat food that comes in a packet . . . I think my Mum calls it Sheba.
It must be admitted that the jelly in those packets is really quite tasty. But when I've licked off all the jelly . . . well, the meat that's left behind is really very dull and flavourless.
So I take the sensible course of action.
I ignore the meat, leave it in the dish, and clean my whiskers. Which means, of course, that I've only had the jelly and I'm still very hungry.
Then there's always that dry, crunchy cat-food . . . I think it's called IAMS. True, it's crunchy . . . and, true, it's tasty.
But would I want to find it in my breakfast bowl every morning?
Definitely not!
But really, wouldn't you agree that the important subject of my diet needs to be taken much more seriously?
A little more sensitivity is called for when it comes to the nuanced needs of a delicate palate.
So, please, could you urge my Mum to refine her culinary skills and give me as varied a menu as possible?
The occasional soupcon of tomato soup, perhaps . . . or a few licks of cheese sauce . . . ?
It's a sure fact that, with the best will in the world, a cat can't live on a rainbow!
Hey . . . is that my Mum coming back . . . ? Now, let's see what she's got for my lunch!