I'm sorry if you were expecting my Mum, but I wanted to send you a quick note . . . when the story is all about me you can't be sure that my Mum will get the facts right, so it's best if I get a word in first.
Did you know that this is the Hunting Season?
It's the most exciting time of the year . . . let me explain.
When it comes to hunting, my life can be a little restricted. If it's too wet to go into the garden I'm limited to paw-play with the vacuum cleaner . . . which is good fun, and I like to help my Mum with the housework, but it's not what an energetic cat would call exciting.
Or, if it's wildlife I want, I can always get up close and personal with the black duck on Mum's umbrella . . . but , with all due respect to him, he's a rather stupid and very dumb duck.
All of this keeps me on my toes, but it's not nearly as much fun as proper out-of-doors hunting.However, and this is the exciting thing, out-of-doors hunting becomes even more exciting in the autumn.
Have you noticed that in the autumn the trees are covered, absolutely covered, with things called nuts?
There are small ones called acorns, and bigger ones called chestnuts, and lovely shiny ones called conkers . . . I'm getting quite an expert on nuts.
Not only that, when the wind blows they all come tumbling down from the trees and make a crunchy carpet under your paws.
Nuts are great fun to play with, but what really puzzles me is that the squirrels love to eat them. They really do! I tried an acorn once, when my Mum wasn't looking and, believe you me, they're not a patch on free-range chicken. But dozens of squirrels come visiting our garden every day just to tuck in.
So . . . squirrels love hunting nuts . . . I love hunting squirrels . . . all of which, as I'm sure you'll agree, proves that autumn is the perfect hunting season!
Mind you, I'm careful. Squirrels don't always play fair . . . I can't speak 'squirrel', but it's jolly clear that whatever their jabbering is about, it isn't very polite . . . and, I don't know if you've noticed, but even the smallest squirrel has very big front teeth!
Now, the reason for this letter is to tell you about something very exciting that happened just the other day!My Mum and I were walking in the garden, looking up at all those squirrels leaping about in the branches, when, suddenly, I heard a definite rustling sound right down by our feet. And, stagger my whiskers, there was a squirrel, hidden deep in the ivy, with the tips of its ears sticking up through the leaves!
He hadn't seen me . . . but I'd seen him!
Well . . . you can guess what any resourceful cat would do given an opportunity like that.
I leaped as high as I possibly could and landed, 'Plonk!', right on top of that squirrel . . . who wriggled out from under me and shot up the nearest tree.
Now, I'm sure you won't make the same stupid mistake that my Mum made. To my annoyance, she thought that I'd actually been trying to catch that squirrel. In fact, she burst out laughing, which was very rude, and told me that squirrels had fleas, and that all I'd probably caught was a flea!
Of course I wasn't trying to catch that squirrel.
Who in their senses would want to catch a squirrel? What could I do with it? I'd hardly want to bring it home to eat up my food, monopolise my favourite toys, and pinch my bed.
Who could possibly want to have a troublesome squirrel in their house? Definitely not me! No, all I'd wanted to do was to give that squirrel a surprise . . . to show it that I wasn't the pushover it thought I was . . . and that's exactly what I did!
Mind you, jumping on squirrels and hunting for squirrels is all rather tiring for a small cat.
After a celebratory lunch I settled down for a well-earned sleep on the sofa.
I know you'll understand what really happened, and that you won't make the same silly mistake that my Mum made.
If she tells you that I couldn't catch a squirrel, and could only catch a flea . . . please, can I rely on you to put her right?
PS
And I didn't catch a flea!
